once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
