Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
