it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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