Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize