They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
