Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
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I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
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I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
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I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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