I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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