It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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