I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
