but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
