so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
