just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
