I accidentally had phone sex last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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