honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
