At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
