We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
