he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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