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I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
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