remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize
