This girl is more easily done than said...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.