Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

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  (330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me http://tfl.nu/m2x7
  Replies (6) Good night (2965) Bad night (732)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

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  (773): Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal http://tfl.nu/usjw
  Replies (29) Good night (22389) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn

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  (330): apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn http://tfl.nu/ven0
  Replies (14) Good night (1151) Bad night (5126)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one

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  (580): Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one http://tfl.nu/xo36
  Replies (7) Good night (3047) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.

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  (646): all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries. http://tfl.nu/485r
  Replies (2) Good night (3556) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.

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  (937): Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car. http://tfl.nu/1lh8
  Replies (7) Good night (642) Bad night (1946)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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  (917): He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat. http://tfl.nu/cst7
  Replies (6) Good night (1517) Bad night (645)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG

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  (304): The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG http://tfl.nu/so20
  Replies (7) Good night (1676) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you want cuervo gold or silver?

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  (847): Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight? (262): Do you want cuervo gold or silver? http://tfl.nu/7twk
  Replies (11) Good night (3363) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.

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  (514): so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view. http://tfl.nu/r0p2
  Replies (2) Good night (1694) Bad night (603)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.

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  (419): By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame. http://tfl.nu/xvaq
  Replies (10) Good night (1084) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!

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  (816): One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays! http://tfl.nu/bzpk
  Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me

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  (306): I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me http://tfl.nu/ybnl
  Replies (3) Good night (335) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.

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  (562): The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico. http://tfl.nu/31h6
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  someone just got arrested on campus...

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  holy fuck look at all that cocaine

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  (908): someone just got arrested on campus... (908): holy fuck look at all that cocaine http://tfl.nu/ymqg
  Replies (0) Good night (917) Bad night (349)

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