I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need to align my fucking chakras
Holy shit dude........stairs
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
