I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.