Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  You're my little dorito

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  (269): You're my little dorito http://tfl.nu/8gay
  Replies (4) Good night (1833) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp

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  (650): my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp http://tfl.nu/twts
  Replies (13) Good night (3016) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm passing your future prison.

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  (619): I'm passing your future prison. http://tfl.nu/j7g6
  Replies (15) Good night (4442) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I love milkshakes.

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not the point.

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  (210): I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat. (1-210): I love milkshakes. (210): Not the point. http://tfl.nu/tb5t
  Replies (19) Good night (5420) Bad night (1560)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.

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  (360): It feels like Jesse James cheated on America. http://tfl.nu/twcl
  Replies (22) Good night (4256) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal

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  (219): I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal http://tfl.nu/2jng
  Replies (5) Good night (2012) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.

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  (206): My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help. http://tfl.nu/31aq
  Replies (51) Good night (1064) Bad night (10723)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science

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  (416): Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science http://tfl.nu/y3kb
  Replies (12) Good night (2092) Bad night (2113)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing

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  (516): my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing http://tfl.nu/sqvp
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (1435)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.

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  (847): Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light. http://tfl.nu/vezf
  Replies (5) Good night (2834) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.

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  (709): I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards. http://tfl.nu/5dgw
  Replies (6) Good night (1588) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yea. I'm excited about this party too

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  (770): Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand. (678): Yea. I'm excited about this party too http://tfl.nu/ksx0
  Replies (4) Good night (2072) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.

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  (910): K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function. http://tfl.nu/qham
  Replies (1) Good night (415) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me

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  (727): She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me http://tfl.nu/h7g4
  Replies (3) Good night (1486) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.

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  (281): Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician. http://tfl.nu/l4gb
  Replies (4) Good night (1078) Bad night (403)

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