Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
