I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.