Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize