he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
