I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Randomize
