what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
