Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
