He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize