It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
