i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
