Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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