I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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