i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How does one acquire holy water?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
