I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
