It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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