i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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