wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
