Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize