Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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