i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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