Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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