I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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