I could have mohawked her pubes.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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