it was like his penis was on wheels.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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