Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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