Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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