Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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