I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
