mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Your tits are I can't wait for
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
