I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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