what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
