it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
