I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize