On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
