I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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