U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
