I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
this is an emotional support booty call
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
