I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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