You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
