Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
