Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
