So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
operation harelip BJ is a go
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize