addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
