The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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