They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
